The Darndest Things (01/06)

For some time, I’ve been wanting a good format for documenting the cute and silly and even bad things my kids say and do. Kids really are quite amusing. I tried a notebook, but I think I will find that the blog is an easier place to keep it all together. I will try to add a link to this in the sidebar, for any of you who are interested {Auntie Grace will be for sure}, and this way I can just keep adding to one running list…

30 January 2006: Bad Trees and Bad Fruit?
Daddy {during family devotions}: So you see, E., Jesus said that a good tree bears good fruit and a bad tree bears bad fruit.
E.: That’s right. A pine tree doesn’t grow apples.
Mommy: {giggles}

End of January 2006: E. Loves to Blaspheme
I can’t end this month’s Darndest Things without remembering E.’s constant wandering through the house “preaching,” or sitting on the couch “reading” his Bible aloud, and all of the decipherable thoughts being heretical! I think my favorite was when I overheard, “Jesus was a sinner, yes He was.” In fact, it was the tendency to blaspheme daily which caused us to get on the ball and begin a nightly time of family devotions.

25 January 2006: The Biggest Loser
E. was given some Old Maid playing cards for Christmas, and this morning, before Si went to his office for work, we decided to play a game. At the end of the game, E. had two cards remaining, one of which was the Old Maid. Now, we thought he understood that the last person to have the Old Maid was the loser, but we were wrong. Instead, he held tightly to that losing card, and said, “No! This is my card! You can’t have it; you can have the other one.”

24 January 2006: Questioning Daddy’s Theology
Our Bible reading tonight included the Beatitudes in Luke. We have been reading from the children’s version {I forget the official name}, so it doesn’t translate exactly. As Si was trying to explain the verses to E., he quickly found himself in a pickle!
Daddy: So you see, here we learn that it is okay to cry because Jesus will comfort us.
E.: It’s okay to cry?
Daddy: Yes, because Jesus will comfort us.
E.: But you told me last week not to cry!
Daddy {turning red}: Well, that was different.
E.: But it’s okay to cry and you told me not to!!

17 January 2006: The E. Dictionary
Here are some words or phrases we adults use, followed by either what E. means when he says them or the funny pronunciation he uses.
Last week: this refers to any moment in the past {i.e., 5 minutes ago, a year ago when I was two, etc.}
Icecream: “asscream”

14 January 2006: E. Understands and Then Tells His First Literary Jokes
Mommy: Some bears say ARGGGGHHHH!
E.: {Giggles}
Mommy: And some bears say, “Oh, bother.”
E.: Pooh does! {Then adds, in his best Eeyore voice} If it is a good day…Which I doubt.

13 January 2006: Boys and Girls are Different
In order to be discreet, I will leave this one vague. E. discovered that boys and girls don’t have the same…um…parts. And he can’t for the life of him figure out how girls are able to go to the bathroom.

Early January 2006: E. Gets a Lesson on Mushrooms
E: I don’t like these marshmallows. {Said while staring in disgust at the mushrooms in the spagetti sauce}
Daddy: Just push them to the side if you don’t like them.
E: But I don’t like marshmallows.
Daddy: E., did you know that these are really called MUSHROOMS? Say it after me: mush
E.: mush
Daddy: ROOM
E.: woom
Daddy: Very good! MUSHROOM.
E.: Mushroom! {And now, as recoginition spreads across his face}…Like DINING room!

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  1. says

    Sorry for being unclear. “People like you” inspire mainly nonfiction readers like me to have a love for good literature…if for no other reason than to understand a good literary joke! =)

  2. Kristie says

    Who exactly are “People like me?” and how are we responsible for your son’s literary jokes? I don’t follow. =)

  3. says

    Grace, I had forgotten that one! That’s a good one! Welcome back, by the way…

    Kris, I must say that it is because of people like you that my child has a Pooh collection in the first place!

  4. Kristie says

    I’m always up for a good literary joke.=) Kids do say the darndest things and never cease to crack this one up!

  5. says

    Thank you for posting these! E. is so cute and I miss him and A. The last one reminded me of the last time I was there and Si was trying to teach him to say something, which I can’t remember for the life of me, but he couldn’t say it right. He kept saying it wrong and we kept correcting him and finally he said, “That’s what I said.” In reality, it wasn’t. That was so cute!