The Wonder of it All

One of the first classes I took back in seminary was Genesis. There is so much to unpack in such a book, that even an entire semester’s study devoted to it didn’t begin to do it justice. And, unfortunately, much of what I learned I have already forgotten. However, I do remember being in awe at God’s obvious command of the womb. One of my repeat assignments was to go through and pick out the various themes in the book.

There were many themes, but this “command of the womb” issue kept popping up on the charts I created. Perhaps the fact that I was dating Si at the time and thinking about the possibility of a family caused this particular theme to become lodged in my brain. It is probably more likely that God was beginning to do a much-needed work in my heart in this area. Regardless, Genesis class was the beginning of a journey for me, increasing my ability to value a child in the way that God would have me to.

And now, I find new reasons to marvel at His work within our family every day.

I think I have mentioned before that I lost a baby before A. was born. I was devastated. And I still think about that child from time to time. But overall, I have learned to appreciate God’s graciousness, for A. was conceived before my due date with the child I lost. In other words, I couldn’t have had them both.

Today, our tiny homeschool group {just three mommies and six children among us so far} met at the park. One of the moms mentioned to me what a perfect match her daughter was for her son, and how so few little girls could have held their own with such a forceful boy for a brother, but this particular little girl does just fine.

It was then that my mind wandered to my own children. About thirty minutes prior to this conversation, I had told our other friend how good A. is for E., who is quite shy in groups. He may be all exuberance at home, but in groups of children his age, he immediately clams up and stands close to Mommy. But A. is brave and social, and it has never dawned on her that there is a cause to fear much of anything {it helps that her big brother is such a fierce protector}. A. musters up all her 18-months and heads out to the playground to see what it is all about. And E. chooses to follow her every time. It never fails that fifteen minutes later, A. is in my arms {she’s still a baby, after all, and begins to miss me, I like to think}, but E. is out running around and forgetting that he was ever tempted to be shy.

I can tell you what E. would be doing as an only child. He would be sitting next to me on a park bench for however long it took for me to decide to leave. He would take weeks, if not months, to make friends, and then if we didn’t see a friend for a while, the whole process would start all over again. But A. softens him up, and gives him the courage he needs.

I don’t know what the child we lost would have been like because we never had the opportunity to meet face to face. But I do know that A. is the perfect fit for our family. Of course, I would have been fortunate to have been spared the pain of ever losing a baby, but that has taught me lessons as well. Today, my focus in on the wonder of it all. I wonder that God created a little boy and girl to be such a good team together. I wonder that I ever worried that they were “too far apart,” for it was the Lord who planned their birthdays, not I.

It is because of witnessing God’s perfect design of our family that I am able to look forward with anticipation to the coming of this third little one. I am excited to see how she fits into our family. I am excited to see that God can create a third personality that is completely distinct and other. And I am excited to watch E. and A. grow in their love not only for each other, but for this precious addition we are about to receive. I am prepared to have even more reasons to wonder at it all.