Ideas Have Consequences: Redefining Marriage

Last night, I ran across an interesting post concerning our state Supreme Court’s redefinition of marriage. What I found even more interesting was the discussion that ensued in the comments. A common theme I saw in the comments was one I have encountered everywhere I go these past couple weeks. There is much debate over what the effect of this new change will be. Many folks say that they can’t imagine a gay marriage having any impact on their own marriage whatsoever.

So today, I invite my readers to use their imaginations.

Ideas have consequences. They do. Saying that we cannot imagine what the consequences will be doesn’t change the fact that each and every idea has a consequence, and usually a multitude of consequences. The fact that we are unable to predict how the future will be different because of the sins or virtues of today is simply an admission of our own limitations rather than any limitation on the ramifications of an idea.

It is my belief that limiting the discussion to the question of “How will legalized gay marriage change my marriage personally?” is actually quite myopic. Ideas, and especially ideas made into law, have consequences for the young, middle-aged, and old. They have consequences for singles, for widows, for married couples, for divorcees. They change the culture in one generation. To limit the discussion to how a wedding ceremony might change, or how even marriage might change, is to overlook that the family unit, which is a core building block of society, has been changed beyond recognition, and the ramifications of that will reach into the far corners of life as we know it.

So today, I invite you, as I said before, to use your powers of imagination and also observation. If you live in California, things are already changing. If you live in another state, be prepared because California tends to export itself to the uttermost parts of the earth. Use Scripture. Use logic. I’ll give you extra points for using both. Make one observation, or make many. My goal here is thoughtful conversation.

Here are my current thoughts and reflections on the issue:

1. Think of the children. It is hard for me to imagine how this will change my own marriage personally. I was married way back in 2001 when marriage meant something different than it means today. However, the existence of marriage and weddings as they were then formed my expectations as a child. For instance, I was a female, therefore I imagined the other party in the wedding being a male. I imagined myself wearing a white gown and veil. I imagined my groom in a tux. I imgained bridesmaids standing up for me, and groomsmen standing up for him. All of this dreaming was a direct result of my culture. Now imagine what doors have opened for my children, especially for the one I carry in my womb, who will live his entire life {perhaps, unless we overrule our Court} in a state where the culture of marrying and giving in marriage is entirely different. We intend to teach our children well, but culture is a powerful adversary. Children now will choose not only their wedding colors but whether they will have a bride or a groom opposite them, and whether they will dress as a man or a woman. {If you think this sounds crazy, I must explain that on the first day of the ceremonies, my husband saw a “groom” wearing a bridal veil. Our local paper displayed “brides” dressed in matching tuxedos, the traditional attire of the groom. Every tradition seemed to be mocked that day.}
2. Think of what public life will be like. On the day of the Court decision, our family made our weekly grocery trip. I found myself steering my son to the right and to the left to avoid a particular 20-something homosexual couple that couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other, and when they weren’t touching, they were behaving in such a way as to draw as much attention to themselves as possible. I have seen numerous same-sex couples at the grocery store over the years, and never have I felt the need to change our usual route. The difference, I believe, was the Court “victory.” These young men were emboldended by the Court, and were determined to display their victory celebration. As gay “marriage” becomes more and more mainstream, more of these couples will be holding hands and kissing in public. And what will people say? That husbands may not kiss in public under any circumstances? No. Now that homosexuals have appropriated the language and the cultural forms, they will act the part. And now we will have to explain to our children and younger and younger ages what in the world it is that they are seeing.
3. Think of government. I am not a legal expert, but I did vote in favor of the law that the Court overturned. The Court is in the habit of overturning the will of the people. At what point do we say that we no longer have a democratic republic? Rather than discussing the law, let us discuss how the law came about in the first place and whether or not this will change how all laws are made. What else is next. Where else will the Court tell us that we are wrong, that our traditions are illegal, and that we must be silent and accept their decisions?

I could go on, but I really do have other tasks before me today. I hope that you all choose to participate. Many perspectives is one of the things I value about blogging. So please, without being combative, share what you imagine, or what your eyes have already beheld.