I was wondering if you could give me your insight on a scheduled day for toddlers…I need to know what to do with them all day.
The above is a comment from my very talented friend Jennifer. I told her I’d reply in a post in hopes of getting ideas from mommies who have done a better job than I have. It also makes it easier to link to various resources. I really wish that I had made better use of my time during my first three or four years of motherhood. I look back and see a lot of things I could have done better.
So, I suppose the question is more, “What would the more experienced me have done differently? And what would that actually look like?”
Where to Start
The only problem is, I can’t know exactly what that would look like for anyone else. So, I did a little research. I think the best advice I found was from Kendra at Preschoolers and Peace in her post It Feels Like I’m Killing Time. There is also good advice in the comments, so scroll down.
Kendra really has the perfect starting place: goals. And I think that is where I’d start. What are my dreams? For myself, for my family, for my children, and so on. I’d write them all out. Then I would circle everything that could be done together. This doesn’t mean we don’t do the things that are better done alone, but rather we save them for naptime.
If you feel stuck, a great place to get ideas is the Bluedorns now-famous article Ten Things to do Before Age Ten. Not everything on the list is appropriate for toddlers, but it is still a starting place. If you want to really get creative, look at the DHM’s post Homeschooling, Interrupted for a variety of things she did to keep her toddler busy and learning.
Something that has helped me tackle the school year is to look at the sheet of goals and then come up with themes for each day. For instance, Monday we learn manners, Tuesday we learn to sing new songs, Wednesday my son works on fine motors using origami and kirigami activities, Thursday we study an artist and also the catechism, and Friday we study a composer. Then I also had the things we do daily: read the Bible, sing a song, read a poem, read a story, memory work, and so on.
Creating a Chart
Next, make a chart. The chart is what you do whenever you don’t have something better to do. Most of your summer, for instance, might actually be running in the sprinklers, with just a bit of Bible reading. But if you don’t have anything to do, you do the chart.
There are many ways to build a chart. I use a simple spreadsheet on my computer and make each row equal to half an hour. I only plan the hours when Daddy is gone on my chart. Then I add in all the immovables. For instance, we always rise at a certain time and eat lunch at a certain time. There are naps that happen at a certain time. So I enter all of that in and then see what I have to work with. This is when you glance at that list of goals and plug, plug, plug them in until you fill the chart. If everything doesn’t fit, decide on some favorites, or ask your husband what his preferences are. The chart can always be revised at a later date to take some things out and add in other goals.
Then, try it for a week and make changes in light of what worked and what didn’t. Do this until you have a chart that matches up with real life.
My only fear in helping others create a chart is that they will feel like the chart is a dictator. The chart is a friend and ally, not The Boss. Don’t be a slave to the chart. Don’t be afraid to be spontaneous. The chart is there to give structure when at home. It will keep you from wandering aimlessly. It will “tell” you what to do when you are too tired to think something up. It will lend a happy rhythm to the days. It will probably help you do more.
Afterthought: Don’t Forget Chores!
One other thing to remember is that now is the time to train your children to work. This part is easier when you don’t have big kids. I am focusing part of the summer on chore training, as there is less focused time for this during the school year.
Having them always work with you will build good habits. I separate laundry into piles {lights, darks, sheets, whatever} and then point to a pile and have whoever is with me put it in the basket, even though I can easily do this myself. When switching from the washer to the dryer, I grab a toddler and hand the toddler each item and have the toddler put it in the washer. Four-year-olds always empty the dryer and bring the basket to me for folding. In this way, all of the children are participating in the process.
I did this from the very beginning because I met a wise woman who told me a secret: Contributing to the work of the family makes children of all ages happy. Now, I have one child for sure who doesn’t like to work, but I realized lately that what this woman meant is that it feels good to contribute. Especially when Mommy tells you what a good job you did, or tells Daddy what a good job you did and you overhear that. Even children prone to sloth take satisfaction in a job well done. They also feel “big” when they can do “important” jobs. Competence leads to confidence.
Helpful Hints, Anyone? Anyone?
I know there are lots of moms of toddlers out there with good ideas, and some of you read this blog. There are others of you who have friends whose methods you hope to emulate when your turn comes. Please share your hints in the comments! Feel free to link to resources that have assisted you.
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