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    Weaning Mommy

    December 18, 2009 by Brandy Vencel

    Usually, it is the baby who has to be weaned. We wean them from nursing, or pacifiers, or thumb-sucking, or blankies, or co-sleeping, or whatever it is that floated Baby’s boat at six months but is anathema at age seven. However, I have encountered a situation in my home that is requiring some weaning.

    From me.

    For most of our marriage, there has been a crib near my side of the bed, filled with some little bundle or other, gurgling happily. When they get older, they throw toys overboard, which is cute in its own way. It is ironic that I have become attached to this because, when we were younger and poorer and lived in a one-bedroom apartment, and there was nowhere for Number One to lay his head except in our room, I had a heart of resentment.

    But, lo and behold, when Number Two was born, and we lived in a real house with multiple bedrooms, her crib found its way into our room before she was even born. And so this was our tradition with each subsequent child.

    But now we have come to the end of things, and Number Four is officially the longest resident of our room Ever. With every other child, I was pregnant by the time I moved them out, so it wasn’t a big life changing event.

    But now it is.

    Saying goodbye to the crib and our little roommate is saying goodbye to an entire chapter of our life.

    I have been putting it off. Certain people who shall remain nameless have been nagging me about it and then shaking their heads in pity when I tell them just a little longer.

    But this week I realized it was time. For the first time, I woke him up on accident not once, but twice. He’s a good sport, sits up in bed, gives me that irresistable sleepy smile. But the point was made: being here is no longer a comfort for him. It is a disruption. He is here for me, not vice versa.

    So, come New Year’s, we’ll be moving the crib out. I won’t know what to do with the empty space in our room, but I’m thinking my rocking chair will fit nicely there for now. I’m glad they are growing up and out. They should. But no one ever warned me about the empty spaces they leave behind.

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  • Reply GretchenJoanna December 19, 2009 at 3:22 am

    Oh, these changes are bittersweet. God bless you.

  • Reply Kansas Mom December 19, 2009 at 2:09 am

    First Son moved out of our bed at 19 months because he was literally attacking his dad every night. Too bad for him. It was almost a year later that his sister was born so he could have snuggled with us quite a bit longer. He didn’t seem to mind too much, though, after the first week in his own crib and his own room all night.

  • Reply Brandy Afterthoughts December 18, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Ellen, I wish I had thought like that earlier in my mothering! You are so right…

    Julia, Isn’t it strange, when you really think about it? That the moment is really only a moment?

    I agree, though: they can’t stay that way. We would all lose our patience, wouldn’t we? 🙂

    KM, You made me laugh! Sometimes I think that daughter of yours is an animal. 🙂 You also reminded me that one of the reasons I lost my patience with having my firstborn share our room was because he was throwing toys at me at 5:30 on Saturday mornings, and I was tired!

  • Reply Kansas Mom December 18, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    Second Daughter is still in our room, but we are contemplating a move. She already has a crib to move to, in her brother and sister’s room…she just isn’t anxious for the move and neither am I. The time is coming, though. I think we’ll be moving that way starting after the holidays. Moving out of our room also means moving out of our bed, which is a momentous thing for me, to give up that snuggly baby.

    Of course, the more she sleeps on my head the less sorry I am to see her move to another room.

  • Reply Julia December 18, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    Oh, I so understand how you feel! I have been pondering changes of seasons lately, even when my house is messy and the baby is fussy more than usual, I look at my boys and realize- they will never be this age again…

    I am not at the same stage yet as you are, but I know it is coming one day. So hugs to you!

    Change is good, I can not imagine having my boys stay 6, 3 and 1 for the next 40 years 🙂

  • Reply Ellen December 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    I am feeling this, Brandy. I have spoiled Evan by holding him just about as much as he wants because I am too aware that time moves very fast, and he’s growing quickly. I don’t want to take this time for granted. I can spoil him just a bit right now. =)

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