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    The Darndest Things: Edible Timeline

    March 23, 2010 by Brandy Vencel

    I promised earlier in the school year that I’d post a picture of our timeline once it really got going. Something happened yesterday which motivated me to take pictures now…just in case.

    That baby. I never know what to expect next, that is for sure.

    Last night, after he got out of his bath, I left him with one sister so that I could remove the other sister from the tub. You moms of many littles are following me here, right? The bath time dilemma: if your husband is gone, and the baby is too young to be in the bathtub alone, what is to be done with the baby when other children need to be gotten out also?

    Anyhow, I was foolish enough to think that his sister could watch him for a couple minutes. This works okay during the day when I do crazy things like use the restroom alone. But I forgot the wildness really kicks it up a notch once the sun sets.

    So, while I was getting one sister ready for bed, another sister watched mildly while her brother disassembled the latter half of the timeline in general, and attempted to eat the “1300” label in particular.

    See Figure 1.

    Figure 1
    Figure 1

    I was {unreasonably} distraught by all of this because it was late, I was tired and didn’t feel well, and now I had to hunt down timeline figures. The baby handed me two century markers and King Edward II. The rest was mysteriously missing. He usually doesn’t hide things well, so I searched the living room. I searched the dining room. I searched the kitchen. I checked the trash cans. I scoured the play nook.


    At this point, I completely reorganized the children’s books, thinking that he had stuffed them into the shelf somewhere.

    No luck.

    So I returned to the play nook and dug through baskets of cars and books, hoping for something.

    Again, nothing.

    At this point my son arrived home, and he is superior to me in the art of finding lost objects. He began to search and also found…nothing.

    I asked the baby: “Where did they go? Where did you put the paper you took off the wall?”

    He smiled. He looked at me knowingly. He walked in an almost authoritative manner while babbling excitedly to me in baby talk. He then took me on a tour of most of my house, pointing wildly in various directions, all the while using his loud gibberish and smiling happily.

    This was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was going to milk it for all it was worth. I am convinced that he knew what I was asking him, but thought it a great joke.

    “I found it!” yelled E. from the play nook. He had decided to dig through the toy box and was rewarded with an odd assortment of English kings and century markers.

    I put them up on the line, and informed him of who and what was still missing. We dug deeper and found everything in the toy box.

    Including the 1200 marker.

    This is an important detail, which tells me that this was a premeditated crime. This baby has been watching and waiting patiently for the right moment to do something he has obviously wanted to do {what with his staring longingly at the timeline at least once per day} for a very long time.

    You see, the 1200 marker has been missing since January. There it was, lying calmly at the bottom of the toy box, belying the criminal who put it there in anticipation of a future reign of terror.


    I have resolved that, as my girls are now too big to both fit in the tub with O. at the same time, O. will just have to sit through two baths because he cannot–I repeat, cannot–be trusted.

    To the sister who was supposed to be watching him, I helplessly asked her, “Why didn’t you tell me he was doing this?”

    To which she calmly replied, “You only told me to watch him.”

    Possibly Related Post:
    Learn how to make this timeline–Frugal Timeline Helps

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  • Reply Rachel R. April 19, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    Oh, my. My 2-year-old would do that. And my 7-year-old would probably just watch her do that, too (and she is an oldest) – either that or she would scream at her as though she were dismembering a person rather than a timeline. There’s no real way to predict which.

    You know how, when we were kids, we thought our parents lay awake at night coming up with ways to take away all our fun? Well, I think small children must lie awake at night and conjure up trouble to get into! lol

  • Reply dawn March 30, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    From what I’ve learned, border collies need a lot of time running and working. Our neighbor has one, and Sam has the run of the neighborhood (he’s a good dog, though). We saw a sheep-herding demonstration with border collies, and the shepherdess said that she doesn’t recommend border collies as family pets, that they need to run and work a lot. Two cents from someone you only “know” on the internet from something she heard second hand πŸ™‚

  • Reply Kansas Mom March 30, 2010 at 4:16 am

    Kansas Dad liked this one best.

    I think you should be aware, though, that some dogs will go after the strawberries themselves.

  • Reply Brandy Afterthoughts March 30, 2010 at 4:06 am

    I can make this deal because I really have nothing against dogs. I just have something against too much responsibility at one time. πŸ™‚

    Anyone have a good dog-training book for when the time comes? We plan on a border collie. Perhaps I can train him to keep the ducks out of the strawberries?

  • Reply Rahime March 28, 2010 at 12:22 am

    I made a deal with my husband that I’d be willing to train a dog after I was done potty training our youngest. I am aware that my time to think of another excuse is quickly coming to an end. πŸ˜‰

    Wow! I learned long ago not to make deals with my husband. Who knows what we’d end up with if I did? πŸ˜‰ Only joking. I’m sure E. and A. will be good at training a dog too though. πŸ˜‰

  • Reply dawn March 26, 2010 at 12:30 am

    We have a lab, who doesn’t shed too badly, and she has white hair, so that helps. We just got a black golden retriever/who knows what mix (and previously had a golden golden) who seems to want to make up for the lack of dog hair. It was kind of my idea, so I’m OK, but I have to admit that dog hair is not my favorite thing in the world πŸ˜‰

  • Reply Brandy Afterthoughts March 25, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Looks like we were commenting at the same time!

    The strip is not all that sticky, and seems to get less so with time. I mean, it is easy to fix that with a wet cloth to take the dust off, and I do that from time to time when we start a new century. But overall, I would think that the hair wouldn’t be that much of an issue. It isn’t sticky the way tape is sticky.

    Of course, I don’t have a dog (yet).

    I made a deal with my husband that I’d be willing to train a dog after I was done potty training our youngest. I am aware that my time to think of another excuse is quickly coming to an end. πŸ˜‰

    Apparently, this time next year I’ll know more about dog hair.

  • Reply Brandy Afterthoughts March 25, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Hi Dawn, Sorry it took me so long to get back to you on this. Details on the timeline can be found in my post Frugal Timeline Helps. The artwork I snagged off various Internet sites, especially Wikipedia (I love to use icons for famous men of faith, and Wikipedia has a decent collection of those). At the beginning of the year, I compiled a list of what would go on the timeline using our various history readings and then cut and paste them all into a single Word doc. I had it printed on cardstock at Office Depot (because they have a nice laser printer) and so now we just cut them out and attach them to the wall. I realized recently that I have the ability to turn fine artwork into coloring pages, and I think I might do something similar for next year, allowing my son to color each character if he wants. I’ll have to ask him if this appeals to him before going to all that trouble; otherwise I’ll just wait until the girls start Ambleside.

  • Reply dawn March 25, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    OK, so I finally looked at the “Possibly related post” and it answered my question perfectly, except for this: do you have dogs? we have shedding dogs who lose a lot of dog hair. Have I mentioned the dog hair? Does it stick to your sticky thing?

  • Reply The BadgerMum March 24, 2010 at 3:31 am

    LOL! It reminds me of the classic puzzler about the man with the goose, the dog, and the sack of wheat, who needs to ferry himself across a river.

    I’m glad you found all the missing pieces — that’s a great timeline.

  • Reply Kansas Mom March 23, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    “You only told me to watch him.”


  • Reply Mystie March 23, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Oh, that is hilarious — because the timeline and boy are not mine. πŸ™‚ He’s a smart one, and your daughter is obviously not an oldest. Oldest children seize every opportunity to exert authority they can get. Just ask my siblings — and my children. πŸ™‚

    Your timeline looks great, even with O’s signature marks. πŸ™‚

  • Reply dawn March 23, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Now that is one ingenious little guy πŸ™‚

    What are you using for your timeline? I can’t tell if it is a painted line on the wall? or a ribbon? or strips of fabric? And your art prints are lovely! Did you make them?

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