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    The Darndest Things: Five is Funny

    December 23, 2010 by Brandy Vencel

    Our five-year-old was in rare form today. You already know that she toys with vegetarianism, and that it confuses her sometimes. Well, today took the cake. Literally.

    I was innocently cutting gingerbread cake, when A. came up and eyed the pan.

    “What’s that?”

    “Gingerbread cake.”

    I could see the wheels start spinning. She went from happy and interested, to sad and worried.

    “Mommy?” she whimpered. “Did they have to kill the gingerbread man to make that cake?”

    She was totally serious!

    Later, she was sitting on a step stool in the kitchen.

    She sighs. And then: “I wish I had a lot a lot of money.”

    Me: “Why?”

    She: “I can’t tell you or you will discipline me.”

    Me (trying not to laugh at her): “What do you want the money for? Do you want to buy something?”

    She: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well, what do you want to buy?”

    She (squirming in her seat now): “Mom! You are going to be mad at me!”

    Me: “Well, you said you want a lot of money. Do you want to buy something for yourself, or for someone else?”

    She: “I want to buy something for you.”

    Me (thinking she is so sweet for a couple seconds, before realizing this is probably bad): “What do you want to buy me?”

    She: “I can’t tell you.”

    Silence.

    She: “I just wish you could always, always take a shower in my shower.”

    Me: “Why? Hey! Did you break my shower??”

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