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    The Darndest Things: Toddler with a Death Wish

    May 14, 2011 by Brandy Vencel

    There was a time when I thought I was a fantastic mother. I had three beautiful children who obeyed me. Okay, so one was an immobile baby, but still: I was pretty confident.

    Enter Son O.

    You know that song on Sesame Street, One of These Things is not Like the Others? I sing that song a lot.

    Oh, sure, he is as sweet as can be. And he’s cute, too {which is lucky for him}.

    But oh my, is he ornery.

    This week with O. was extra challenging. He had a number of days during which he refused to play with toys. Instead, he occupied his time by wandering around Getting Into Things.

    Naturally, I sent him outside.

    This has been the ace up my sleeve, as they say. It never fails to send him outside.

    Except for this week. I sent him out and he:

    • chased ducks
    • tortured sisters
    • came back in, and went back out, and came back in until the house was full of flies
    • tried to drink duck water
    • still never really played

    I thought that perhaps he needed more Mommy Time, so I scheduled in time to read books just to him. Usually, he loves this. But this week? This week he squirmed and asked to get down.

    I really don’t know what the deal was, but I was so incredibly ready for Friday.

    Friday, we decided to go to the park with friends. It was going to be fun. O. was going to be happy. I was not going to go crazy. It would be perfect.

    We were supposed to leave our house around a quarter to 8 in the morning. So naturally, right after 8:30, O. decided to drink a bottle of eye drops.

    I cannot make this stuff up.

    None of my children have ever done anything like this before. Granted, eye drops are usually put away, but they were out because I was having issues with my contacts.

    And naturally O. drank them.

    Oh. my. gosh.

    I looked at the bottle, and it didn’t have a warning label, so I thought it’d be okay. And then I thought perhaps I’d google the product, just to be sure. And there was a little warning online about it, so I called Si.

    It was decided I should call Poison Control, just to be safe.

    Good news: he didn’t drink the fatal dose!

    Bad news: he came close.

    He never had any symptoms, so either it was beneficial to keep ice water on tap in the sippy cups, or having him spit the contents of his mouth into my hand saved the day.

    Either way, we were an hour late to the park.

    If I suddenly die of a stroke, you’ll know why.

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  • Reply Kansas Mom May 15, 2011 at 2:36 am

    I thought all toddlers had death wishes. First Son wasn’t too bad, but only because he almost always had an adult on either side of him. First Daughter gave me a few scares. I still think Second Daughter is going to give me a heart attack at least three times a week.

    Do you believe in guardian angels? Maybe you should pray and ask for two to be assigned to him?

  • Reply GretchenJoanna May 15, 2011 at 2:09 am

    hmmm….well, tomorrow is supposed to be a day of rest….does he know?

  • Reply Silvia May 15, 2011 at 1:40 am

    Brandy… what a scare! I’m glad he is fine, as for you, if I were close to you I’d gladly offer to give you a relief to get your nerves back in their place.

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