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| Young and in Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage by Ted Cunningham |
I am a promarriage pastor. I believe God created marriage to be enjoyed between a man and woman for a lifetime. The only part of creation that God declared as “not good” was man’s singleness, and throughout Scripture marriage is normative, while singleness is the exception. So young men need to start approaching young women, falling in love, and getting married–it’s biblical. I believe Satan has duped our culture into believing the lie that says, “Marriage is the problem, not man.” He has convinced us that one of the best ways to prosper in life is to abstain from marriage or at least delay it as long as possible. {p. 13}
Marrying young is not the problem. {p. 17}
For us, marriage was a milestone at the front end of adulthood, not the back end, and we genuinely looked forward to marriage and figuring out our lives together. {p. 19}
In truth, we were taught to honor celibacy and purity and not marriage. {p. 26}
I would go so far as to say that encouraging young people to abstain from marriage falls into the category of a demonic doctrine. {p. 31}
Some of you guys need to consider marrying the single moms in the church and adopting their children as your own. When you do that, do you know what you are? You are a man.
After preaching this text from I Timothy, a man in his midfifties approached me with tears in his eyes. He said, “Ted, all morning while you were speaking, I thought about my stepdad. he married my mom and took in all seven of her children and adopted us as his own. He as the greatest man I have ever known.” {p. 62}
Marriage and family therapist Ryan Pannell defines prolonged adolescence as having too much privilege and not enough responsibility. {p. 68}
[T]here’s a difference between a rushed marriage and a young marriage. {p. 83}
Professor Mark Regnerus addressed this issue: “Marrying young can spell poverty, at least temporarily…Good marriages grow through struggles, including economic ones.”
Let me interpret that for you. Think egg-crate furniture and a mattress on the floor, not Ethan Allen or Posturepedic. Think top ramen or spaghetti at home for dinner most nights, not Applebee’s. Grab Folgers on the way out the door in the morning, not Starbucks on the way to work. {p. 103}
Modern entitlement makes us want things now, things our parents might have spent thirty years accumulating. {p. 104}
Consider cheaper weddings. {p. 109}
Independence trumps oneness in a marriage. As a pastor who regularly does marriage counseling, I see independence as one of the leading causes of marital conflict. {p. 115}
I talk to adult children all the time who are still calling home in their twenties and thirties asking their parents for money. Then they get frustrated with their “controlling” parents. My first counsel to them is to get the Star Wars bedsheets off the bed. It’s time to grow up! {p. 131}
Moral laxity is the number one cause of divorce in this country. Debt, adultery, and broken promises are symptoms of a spouse’s lack of character. {p. 137}
Twenty years into marriage, laziness is not cute. {p. 143}
Money does not cause divorce, and money is not the root of all evil. It is the love of money that is evil. Just remember, when you say for richer or for poorer, you’ll probably start off poor. {p. 198}
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